Chistes en inglés para un blog de chistes en español
¡Hola amantes de los chistes! Hoy queremos compartir con ustedes una recopilación de chistes en inglés que seguramente les sacarán más de una sonrisa. Aunque estemos acostumbrados a los chistes en español, es importante abrir nuestras fronteras humorísticas y explorar el mundo del humor en otros idiomas. Así que prepárense para reír a carcajadas con estos chistes en inglés que hemos seleccionado para ustedes. ¡Esperamos que los disfruten!
11. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
12. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
15. What did one wall say to the other wall? «I’ll meet you at the corner!»
The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please.
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Chistes en inglés: Subtitulo 1
Did you hear about the skeleton who walked into a cafe? He ordered a cup of coffee and a mop.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn’t eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, «oh, come on, let’s eat the sandwiches.»
A man receives a phone call from his doctor. The doctor says, «I have some good news and some bad news.» The man says, «OK, give me the good news first.» The doctor says, «The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.» The man replies, «Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?» The doctor says, «The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.»
Patient: Doctor, I think that I’ve been bitten by a vampire.
Chistes en inglés: Subtitulo 2
4. Un refresco suave
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
The student: I run. You run …
9. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
What does the Lochness monster call his favorite dish? ‘Fish & Ships.
Chistes en inglés: Subtitulo 3
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
5. Un fideo falso
Why are there fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
How long should an elephant’s legs be? Long enough to reach the ground.
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.
14. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Patient: Doctor! You’ve got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me.
Boy: What are the two things?
3. El boniato filosófico
6. El plátano amoroso
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
10. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
13. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
5. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
What did the calculator say to the math student? You can count on me.
Why is no one late in London? Because there’s a big clock right in the middle of the town!
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
What sound do hedgehogs make when they hug? Ouch!
Where do cows go on dates?…MOOOOvies
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman «What did you do that for?»
B: It’s because your feet aren’t empty.
Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it?
A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there’s a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out.
Teacher: Why are you late?
What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt!
What’s the best way to talk to a T-Rex? A: From a distance.
Girl: Your feet.
The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb «to walk» in simple present.
What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh.
Student: No. I was standing on it.
2. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
8. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish.
The student: I walk. You walk ….
Teacher: What are you talking about?
What does a spider’s bride wear? A webbing dress.
3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What has two legs but can’t walk?
Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
1. Un chilito friolento
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. «Wow!,» said her father, «That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?» «Wrong number,» replied the girl.
1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, «If you do, I won’t go!»
Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
6. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Doctor: No, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.
A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn’t rush to my feet. Why is this?
2. Un dinosaurio muy especial
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very small too…
The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
Why do you take baths in milk?
Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
4. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.